The Secret to Becoming a Massively Influential Leader

I know for a fact this is going to be hard for you.

Easy to comprehend, yes.

But man it is fucking hard. Well, not hard, but more like, simple but not easy.

But here’s what I can tell you — once you do it once, you’ll never want to go back to your old leadership style ever again.

It’s the greatest leadership advice I can give you.👍🏻

Over the last 10 years I have worked under many leaders. Like what you have seen, some were awful, some quite good, and one or two were truly remarkable. Isn’t it funny that we instinctively know which ones were remarkable, we rarely know *exactly* how they stood out as transformational in our lives.

That’s when I started doing some self-reflecting. All of the leaders I surveyed privately in my own head, I realized it came down to the way they made me feel that set the good apart from the bad.

But if it’s really that simple, why can’t every leader accomplish that?

It’s because just making people feel good does not equal great leadership. Fundamentally, the goal of leadership is to get people from where they are now to a preferred vision of their future.

Knowing you, I’m guessing your future is bright! You value freedom, purpose, impact, experience, money, all kinds of things. And your journey to achieve those is filled with disappointment, struggle, anxiety, worry, panic, bad luck, and fear.

So how do Leaders help us navigate all of that is really the question…

I knew I needed to figure this out. What was the difference? What do great leaders do…

Here’s what I discovered…

Great leaders are great coaches, not great managers.

Even the definitions jump off the page…

Coach: a private tutor, one who instructs or trains

Manager: a person who conducts business, a person who directs a team

Good shit here, right?! I don’t think there’s even that much subtlety or nuance between the two. I mean, the definitions are insanely clear. And it’s the main difference that so many leaders unknowingly get wrong.

As a leader — the vision, values, and standards that you lead with are uniform. As in, they apply to everyone. But, make no mistake about it: you are leading one person at a time here.

Think about the way you can be challenged, motivated, or pushed. When a manager pushes you, it feels personal and hollow. Coaches, on the other hand, can deliver the most difficult messages or push you harder than you were used to, but somehow it didn’t feel bad.

They adapted their approach to what you needed in the moment.

That’s the power of good coaching. You can feel known, understood, heard and appreciated — even when the topic of discussion isn’t pleasant. Great coaches inspire around your strengths and how it will lead to your preferred vision of the your future.

Great leaders will drill that constantly. They will remind you of it day after day, through success and failures, ups and downs…your goals are worthy goals and you are capable of getting there.

It’s so clear and uplifting that the dialogue is naturally positive and constructive. That’s because coaching conversations are about now and what’s next.

Finally, great coaches celebrate the agitation

Managers like hearing issues. Unless those issues are about them. Then you can just keep those to yourself. Great leaders can’t fathom demonizing you for bringing a problem forward — frankly, solving problems is the only way we, together in a relationship, can get better❗️

It’s one of the great tools any leader can leverage: two-way communication, starting with the other person.

Great leaders typically have a lot of influence in deciding placements, promotions or pay raises. They instinctively know that any negative feedback from them might trigger career anxieties. So, they do everything they can to limit anxiety, especially when looking to drive higher performance. Usually, that means asking for feedback about themselves first so they can get better for you.

Managers — they don’t care. They don’t have time for this. They have time to get business done, drive higher revenue, and remind everyone whose in charge.

Great coaches will do things different. They want to start with you. They want to make you great. And when you no longer have all the answers and need a private tutor, both of you get to start building what comes next.

Do you agree? How do you coach your people?

Critical takes the time and work out of asking. Check it out here if you get a second. 👍🏼

Note: Coaches are not just for the athletic field. Hell, even some of those guys are better managers than they are coaches.😳